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BYU love & romance- looking for volunteers

Photographers looking for volunteers for project on love

We are a group of photographers documenting the culture of BYU and Utah Valley romance, love dating and marriage.

We are seeking volunteers who would be willing to participate, by having parts of their lives documented. From first dates, to breakups, to getting engaged, weddings, divorces- we are looking to document the whole experience and culture. No compensation but good karma; however, for weddings, you'd get a free photographer.

Our photographers are professional, discreet, and take a fly on the wall approach. We are looking for both one time and long term subjects; both men and women, and an entire apartment willing to be documented would be fantastic.

Final product will be a short film and a book and gallery show exploring the culture, lifestyle and issues of Utah Valley romance.

Please contact Eric Beecroft with questions and to participate.,

Two week NCMO: dream assignment or mass confusion

Okay, I lied. The assignment was not mine to complete, but after a few seconds of solid mulling-it-over, I had no objection to helping a friend of mine rack up points for this BYU marriage class.

This professor required students to accumulate 10 points over the course of the term by participating in one or many of the specific dating related activities (I don't actually have the syllabus for the class, but you should get the point I'm trying to make from what I can remember):

2 points............10 minute staring contest (stand within 1 foot of partner and stare...deeply and freakishly long into their eyes, in the dark, and all alone)

1 point.............hold someone's hand (add an extra point if he/she is over the age of 25 and talks about marriage enough to be on the elder's quorum 'special needs list') [...]

Overheard in Provo

Girl #1 "It's not like we're dating anymore we broke up 2 weeks ago."
Girl #2 "Guys are such jerks here."
Girl #1 "If I love him he should be happy for me."
Dude "Yeah but you're dating his roommate!"

The Ring

OK, so I'm dating this guy. He's wonderful and amazing and frankly, I'm in love with him. OK, so he's in love with me, too, and we've known that we are going to get married for a while now. We have a wedding date planned out and all other plans are underway by our families. So, why is it that we are not technically engaged if there is not a ring on my finger?? Why is it only socially acceptable to say, "Hey, I'm engaged!" only if it is followed by the action of flashing a shiny two karat to anyone and everyone who wants to look and even to those who don't?! I don't even care about getting a ring. I know that a rock is not going to determine the length of our marriage or how we feel about each other. Honestly, I don't have to have anything on my hand.

Don't get me wrong, some bling does amazing things to a girl, but why is it needed to say I'm engaged to the man I know without any doubt in my mind that I'm going to marry?

The pros and cons of dating Provo girls

(attn: Bootersrule – if you don’t have the energy to read/understand this post, I can email you the cliff notes…just a thought.)

I began dating Emily 7 months ago. No, we're not engaged. But everything else about our relationship is typical of BYU (i.e.-for awhile, our only exchange was a monthly visit along with the First Presidency message). Though, I do believe there is an element of our relationship that many singles may find either damaging or destructive. Yes, I just used alliteration and synonyms to describe a part of our relationship that has rocketed me into the world of the future in-laws. (It is in my best interest at this point in the post, to write my disclaimer: attn Emily/Emily's family: I hope Jan 1st isn't too soon.)

Those of you sympathizing with me on the below experiences are probably glad you're not empathizing.

-Sunday Dinner-

If you're from Provo, or Utah, there is a Sunday curfew. This curfew states that all children from Utah, who still reside in Utah, must return to their Parents' homes for dinner every Sunday. Every Google attempt to find this law failed...

"If I have to explain it, never mind."

Here's a funny commentary I heard on NPR today by author Lori Gottlieb who claims that women aren't actually better communicators than men. (From NPR's page you'll have to click the listen link to actually hear it.)

She's basically saying that, in relationships, men are the ones who are ready and willing to communicate while women tend to be more of the attitude that, "if I have to explain it, never mind." There's some definite truth to what she's saying. I think that another example of this are the strange roommate issues girls seem to be plagued with--where they offend one another, refuse to talk about it, and grow into enemies while continuing to pretend that everything's fine.

On another note, it's interesting that the NPR commentator ignores marriage entirely, acting as though boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are the only thing out there. (Another example of the liberal bias us conservatives always complain about on NPR.)


I am sure that those of you who watched the CES fireside (windows media stream) given by Elder Oaks on Sunday were rather amused with how he addressed the decrease of dating and the increase of "hanging out" among young singles. I know that the girls were thrilled to hear the guys being admonished to take them on more dates - but what about the guys? What do you all think of this?

I am skeptical that things are going to change a whole lot. So now I am wondering - why DO we all just "hang out"? Is it really about the money? Are the guys being lazy? Are they really that intimidated? Are there so many options (meaning girls - especially here in Provo) that the guys don't want to pick just one?

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