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The appeal of the "molestache"

Whenever I see that disgusting bit of facial hair that is faintly reminiscent of Adolf Hitler, or of a washed-up 70s porn star, I want to vomit. I'm referring to the disgusting trend that men on BYU campus have embraced: the mustache.

I pose this question to the male Pulse patrons: what is the appeal of the "molestache"? Does your girlfriend like kissing you? Can you even get a girl to look at you without laughing/dry heaving? Do your daily accessories include a pipe and jacket with elbow patches?

No offense to any of you who feel naked without the 'stache, but the fad drives me crazy. Rat tails? Faux-hawks? The "BYU Duck Butt" (as my friend lovingly dubs the style)? The revival of shaving steps into the side of your head? Bring it on. I can deal with those trends, but mustaches should be reserved for college professors and geriatrics.

I wish that mustaches weren't allowed in the Honor Code. I really don't mind facial hair in general, like the rugged, full beard. But with facial hair, you really need to go big or go home.

And to you, Fourth Floor Frequenter (who looks like he's trying to go incognito), I take this opportunity to beg you to shave your mustache and cut your long mane. You're beginning to look like a bearded lady.

The space between the lip and

The space between the lip and the nose is the most boring part of the face, except for the earlobe. We just want to spice things up a bit.

Actually, I think the real reason is pseudo-rebellion! If I had a choice, I would be sporting the beard, but instead I have to make due with letting nature take its course on my upper lip. Although it ends up being thin and wispy. Folk-singer wispy.

Shaving steps into the back of your head is back? Why wasn't I told of this? Oh, MC Hammer, how you have blessed us.

Haynah

Sometimes I forget how funny you are. But then I read stuff like this and think to myself "Now I remember"

wait wait

Hannah, I'm not getting why you're calling it a "molestache" ...

Molestache...

Probably because most the stereotypical child molester is trashy looking and has a lame "molestache"

As for why men do it on campus, I think Trey Money was right on target. We want facial hair and they will only let us have the ugly 'stache!

I haven't brought myself to grow one although I would like to have facial hair. That is one rule that needs to go.

Thank you for bringing the co

Thank you for bringing the commenting back to facial hair.

And everytime I touch my naked chin, I regret that I go to the Y...

pa...ha...ha...

Ahem.

By the way, thanks, Hannah...

for the fun article. Very funny, and just what I needed. I have to admit, I'm getting a little tired of some of the other articles. {CoughCoughProphetHasSpokenCough} Whew, sorry about that. What I meant to say before my cough attack was that I now utterly despise Tyler's "When the Prophet Has Spoken" article. It makes me cranky.

sigh

Look, guys. Sorry for calling the mustache a "molestache." I created some animosity... haha, I thought it was a neutral topic.

I just don't love facial hair!

And that is all. Hannah has left the building.

For the record...

I just got done pulling an all nighter. Send your spare sleep my direction.

I'm divided

I don't like the stache alone, I prefer a full goatee. However, if that is all you can have up at BYU, then at least it's better than nothing!

That rule should be done away with!

Time, time, time

I think the reason a lot of BYU students favor the "molestache" is because they just don't have/make time to shave it. I know when I was an BYU undergrad, I worked full time at a local bank in addition to being a full time student. Sometimes I just didn't make time in the morning to shave. No big deal, I thought, nobody will notice. But apparently they do. :)

And why was facial hair banne

And why was facial hair banned? Largely because Wilkinson was deathly afraid of communism seeping into the BYU campus. I'm not sure exactly how facial hair and communism are linked, but Wilkinson had it figured out. I think it had to do with hippies having facial hair, hippies being communists, so therefore guys with facial hair are communists. And there was no way that a fellow in the John Birch Society would allow communists in his school!

One of the true pleasures of life

Let me tell you, everytime I run my ringers through my goatee, I'm so very thankful that I don't go to the Y.

lol!

Trey, you are flippin' hilarious.

"Molestache" ... i get it

I was like, "Mole-stache" ... is that some kind of unsightly mole / mustache combo?

What are you thinking?

"Probably because most the stereotypical child molester is trashy looking and has a lame "molestache"

Slim, I think this is a terrible comment; you are making fun of a very evil situation. Why would you make such a comment like this?

well...

What can I say? I try to be a crowd-pleaser. And I'm not into getting a rise out of everyone. When we talk about the church and the prophet, the conversation should bring us together, not divide us with meaningless discussions that end in animosity.

And I hope that no one gets mad that I said that. Please don't reply with an angry comment if you don't like my thoughts. It's just how I feel.

Dang it, I need to switch back to a facial hair comment.

Tom Selleck!

I feel your pain. I haven't s

I feel your pain. I haven't slept since wednesday morning and i still have another 12 page paper to write before 4 pm. then its work, and moving my stuff to my new apartment and fixing a whole i punched in the wall so i can pass my checkout. on the brightside...no more byu approved housing!

They say that it takes the Ch

They say that it takes the Church 30 years to catch up culturally with the rest of the world, largely due to the advanced age of the hierarchy. If that's true, the beard ban should be lifting right about...now.

oh my

goodness.

?

Tyler, how and why do you know all this stuff?

Amen to that one...

I grew out my facial hair for a play last semester at UVSC. My wife doesn't like it that much, but it might land me a part in a movie.(I've got the mexican gangster 'stache, and goat)

Fingers crossed.

I have a man crush on Tom Sel

I have a man crush on Tom Selleck

I love you Hannah...

Tom may be famous for his molestache, but notice that nobody cared about Kiefer Sutherland in the 3 Musketeers with that huge, nasty beard/stache, but as soon as he shaved it off for 24 he became the hottest world-saver on prime time! Take that Tom.

Get a grip Robot

Was I poking fun at a terrible situation or a terrible person? Did I make any pokes at children that are molested? NO! Did I poke fun at the lowlifes that do it? YES!

Get over it.

Ever heard of a "molester van" too? It's a degrading comment towards child molesters, not molested children.

Thanks for the reminder of why I will always like California more than Utah. People don't jump to self righteous conclusions so quickly, unless of course they are mormons who moved there from Utah that is.

grrrr....

"And I hope that no one gets mad that I said that."

That's it, not...able..to...control...anger....garrrrr!!

Like that, Hannah?

We can be civil. Well, sometimes; you know, when there's ice cream involved.

Tommy

Tom Selleck's mustache is appealing even in 2005 because it is non-wispy and non-folk-singery, and because he is hot.

And also because the 80's are so back. As if we hadn't established this with all the 'stache/mullet/rat tail talk. Hey, if the rat tail sporter looks anything like New Kid Donnie Wahlberg, I'm in.

I've officially heard everything

And just when I thought I couldn't be suprised anymore.

I read way too much. Check ou

I read way too much. Check out "The Lord's University" by Kagel and Waterman. There should be even more about it in the book about BYU by Priddis and Bergera.

Also, the old dress code that women had to wear dress codes was largely maintained because Oaks though women wearing pants would result in a unisex society (which was the same reason why he openly opposed Title 9)

Still? I mean, sure, he was

Still? I mean, sure, he was the man back in his Magnum P.I. days. I doubt that any guy didn't have a heterocrush on him back then. But what has he done for us lately? Does he still have the 'stache?

Tom Selleck

actually, I think that makes Tom Selleck cooler than Keifer Sutherland because Tom pulled off the "I'm a sex symbol with a mustache"...who else can do that? Granted, Chandler tried it on 'Friends' when he wanted to look cool with a mustache like Monica's boyfriend Richard. Who was that actor that played the sexy man with the mustache (Richard) again? Oh yeah...it was Tom Selleck! :)