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Who is this lady?

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This is a poor picture [Editor's note: picture now removed], but you'll probably recognize this woman if you've been at BYU for long. I see her in the wilk on a regular basis, usually having a conversation with someone who she has apparently cornered.

A few minutes ago I saw her go over and sit down at this guy's table in the courgareat. She stayed there talking to him for some time and only left once he gave her money for Taco Bell.

And I don't blame him. I'd probably give her money too. It's definitely not easy to turn a panhandler down, especially one who's asking for food-money while you're in the middle of a nice hearty meal.

This woman has apparently mastered the art of begging one's way into obesity. She begs, we give. She eats, then begs again. As far as I can tell she's been living off of BYU students for years.

And the poor lady is grossly obese--to the point that she can barely walk. I've never talked with her, but she looks like she may even be mentally ill.

I obviously don't know anything more about her situation than what I've observed first-hand, but I can tell that something needs to be done.

What do you do for someone in this sort of situation? Giving her money hasn't done much to help. She's still idling her days away in the wilk begging, we're still giving, and nothing changes.

I think I know...

I think that's David Magleby. Am I right or am I right?

What do you do for someone

What do you do for someone in this sort of situation? Giving her money hasn't done much to help. She's still idling her days away in the wilk begging, we're still giving, and nothing changes.

I think a big part of the problem... is the problem isn't clear. She probably is mentally ill, like you mentioned. Maybe she doesn't consider her time in the cougereat "idling her days away."

I don't think I've noticed her before... but I'll keep looking. For this last week I'm here. I've never been approached for money in the wilk. I'm much more bugged by the flyer nazi's.

Her father is a professor

Her father is a professor here at BYU, that's why she's always around. I've never talked to her, but a friend of mine knows the family personally. Why she is asking for money, I don't know. Because she can?

Errm

I'm kind of uncomfortable with this thread. Why is posting the picture of this woman necessary?

I have been to the Wilk

I have been to the Wilk several times over the last few days, making a point to see The Woman. I haven't yet.

I have an extra dollar in my pocket if I should happen to get lucky!

Begging For Money

This story is a bit off topic - but it's funny nonetheless and has to do with beggars.

Now, I'm all for giving change to people if I have it (which I usually don't as I make it a point to not carry cash ever because I hates it), but I just couldn't bring myself to give this guy money. Here's why.

I was in San Francisco for the Maker Faire (see makezine.com - basically a bunch of geeks with robots and stuff), and had to go into SF to return some jeans I had purchased the day before at H&M. My friend dropped me off, I did the return, and went back to the corner where he dropped me off. And waited. I forgot to grab my cellphone so I was at the mercy of the city.

A guy approached me, telling me to relax (Did I not look relaxed?) and explained he knew everyone in the city, had lived there all his life, and worked right around the corner at a food joint. He then began listing several drugs (kinda mumbling most of them), and ended the sentence with "which one you want?"

It went something like "Now I got weed, crank, smack, jimmy, spliff, coke, etc." I don't even know what he was saying.

I said "nah man, I'm clean."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "I got weed, you want some weed?"

I told him no, and again he looked at me like I was from another planet. "You don't smoke weed?" I responded in the negative. He looked at the ground confused for a minute.

This is priceless. The next words out of his mouth were: "listen, man, I'm just trying to get a few bucks so I can buy some rice at this place around the corner - I just need some food."

Now, there are a few facts you should have picked up on. First, he worked at the restraunt around the corner. Surely they paid him, and most likely gave him a discount on food also. Second, he just claimed to have probably several thousands of dollars worth of drugs on his person. Drugs which, apparently, get you looked at like an alien if you don't use them. They really shouldn't be hard to sell.

In addition, the guy was wearing leather pants, which aren't cheap. He just assumed that because I didn't do drugs that I must be a good person and must be willing to hand out my money to idiots. Well, he figured me wrong. I don't do drugs, but I AM an asshole - and I'm not an idiot.

He asked me for money several more times, each time with me responding "yea, I REALLY don't have any money on me - I'm traveling." He eventually sauntered off.

Because something needs to

Because something needs to be done for her, and I think spotlighting the issue is a good way to start the process of making that happen.

All anybody ever does is either, one, give her money, or two, ignore her.

Are either one of those things is going to help her out of her rut?

My mom used to visit teach a woman a lot like this. Her apartment was full to the brim with garbage--old newspapers, rotting meat, cat feces, you name it. And cockroaches galore. It was absolutely disgusting. My mom helped this woman sort through and clean out her entire apartment. With my dad's help they carted truckloads of filth to the dump.

My mom hoped that she could turn the lady's life around by helping her break out of her cycle. Unfortunately after a few months she slipped right back into it. Months later she went back and did another giant cleaning spree on they woman's apartment hoping that after going full circle she had learned her lesson, and that maybe she would be free of it if she was given one more chance.

Sadly, it didn't work. She just went right back to doing what she'd always done.

But that's not always the case. I actually just found a cool website called SqualorSurvivors.com that has some eye opening pictures from people who have overcome their illness. That's heartening.

Anyway, I've veered off topic a bit here. The point I'm getting at is that this woman doesn't need a handout, she needs someone to step in and help her get control of her life. Now I don't know if she actually lives in squalor, but she is definitely stuck in a rut and needs help. And she is in need of medical care. She can barely walk due to her swollen feet. She could very well be in need of psychological help as well.

Am I prepared to be the person who steps up the the plate and takes this woman under my wing? No. Like most of the rest of you, I make the (at least partially valid) excuse of having too much going on right now. I'm just not up to the challenge.

But I just feel like I ought to do something, and I think that highlighting the problem is a step in the right direction.

What else do you know? Is

What else do you know?

Is she mentally ill?

Does her dad bring her up here each day and drop her off to let BYU babysit her?

That reminds me of the time

That reminds me of the time a friend of mine was asked by a homeless guy for money to "buy food." He said, ok let's cross the street to the deli and I'll buy you a sandwhich. The homeless guy responded, "Could you just buy me a beer???"

I'm not exactly sure where

I'm not exactly sure where she's at mentally, however, she cannot read or write as my friend said she has written letters that the lady has dictated as a service.

Also, whenever I have seen her she has been getting on or off the bus in front of the Wilk in the late afternoons and early evenings, which leads me to believe that she goes somewhere else during the day (a job? a care center?) and then travels home with her father at the end of his day.

I'll ask my friend for more details.

Highlighting the problem,

Highlighting the problem, and spotlighting the issue, I'm all for that. It just seems like posting her picture is a way of singling her out and making fun of her. One or two sentences in your original post seemed to be just making fun of her for being obese and/or mentally ill. Maybe I misread it, but I still see no need for the picture. It just seems mean-spirited, even though it seems it wasn't intended to be that way.

I just looked at that site.

I just looked at that site. I thought, "I wonder if I have a problem. It takes us two weeks to finish unpacking when we move, sometimes we leave the dishes undone overnight, and even if the trash stinks, sometimes we'll wait until it's full to take it outside."

Yeah, I don't have a problem. Those pictures and descriptions were disgusting.

Her name is Linda. I was

Her name is Linda. I was mistaken, my friend doesn't know the family, but rather just met her randomly at BYU one day and they got to know each other. Also, Linda is officially not "all there." Her father used to teach at BYU, but doesn't anymore, and Linda hangs out at the Wilk these days just because it's something to do. My friend didn't know what she does when she's not chilling out at BYU.

So... now what?

To be honest I was pretty

To be honest I was pretty irritated when I wrote the original post. Her behavior annoys me.

But at the same time, I know that she's not well and probably needs help. Is it ok to be irritated and / or disgusted with someone's bad behavior? I definitely think so. Is it ok to mock somebody for their poverty / obesity / lack of intelligence? Definitely not. And that's not what I intended to do by pointing her out. All I mean to do is air my frustration with her behavior and with the fact that it seems nothing's being done for her (by myself or anyone else).

So yeah, I'm not posting this with a scornful attitude or anything. I just feel the need to talk about it. Thanks for not jumping on me too hard about it.

BTW, I felt that her picture was necessary so that people know who I'm talking about. And for what it's worth, she didn't see me take it.

I felt uncomfortable too

Mason, honestly seeing the picture and reading the original post made me feel a little uncomfortable too. While the issue is valid and should be discussed on ProvoPulse, I think the photo delves a little bit too far into her right to privacy and I don't think singling her out to the extent of a photo really makes the discussion any more compelling...it makes me feel even worse that she may not be fully accountable and is not knowingly doing anything wrong (like the booters for example who I can see more of a reason to post pictures of). It is your site though, so do whatever you deem appropriate.

Ok, maybe I did go too far

Ok, maybe I did go too far by posting her picture. You guys have changed my mind.

I just removed it.

Thanks for the feedback.

Weak, dude.

Oh, man... weak, dude, weak. You removed a picture of a over weight woman who was wearing dumpy clothes and had supposed mental issues. It could have been ANY of MOST of the middle-aged women here in Utah County.

Kudos

Kudos for taking down the pic.

It could have been ANY of MOST of the middle-aged women here in Utah County.

lol. It's funny cuz it's true.